Moon conjunct/square Pluto in Synastry

If you have a Moon conjunct Pluto with someone you can look forward to feeling attached on a deep level.  This attachment would make it very difficult for two people to not become psychologically linked.

What is a psychological link?  It is when you and another person become vulnerable with each other and exchange a sense of intimacy. This feeling can become very addictive because you become open to parts of yourself that are usually controlled. Moon-Pluto works like deep water that sips into the earth of your foundation. Who you think you are, your personality and social identity become irrelevant when this happens. The couple may experience a sense of crisis about parts of themselves they used to find natural and easy. Suddenly, your emotional reactions, childhood habits and sense of security are put on display.  

You may feel this is happening because your partner has a way of making you feel seen.  You may think that something about them is making you feel safe enough to not hide who you are. The Pluto person has a tendency to skip social politeness and go straight into the emotional being of the Moon person. There is often a sense of not knowing why the attraction is so alluring and strong. In actuality, both people are fascinated with seeing their own hidden, repressed or feral parts come to light. There is a mistaken belief that the other person holds the power to understand us. This belief tends to make people fascinated and obsessed with each other.

The truth is, that the relationship itself can be very revealing and raw. We can’t hide the fact we do things because of some need we have and it feels good to know the other person feels this compulsion too. It also feels very good that it is an unspoken, mysterious connection where both people know they are playing cat and mouse. The fact it is such an unspoken current of the relationship makes it attractive and even sexy. There is a lot of space for both people to project their own animalistic yearning onto the other person and let that fester and grow into a compulsion to become emotionally naked. This aspect tends to override the fact that two people have nothing in common or might not even be one another’s “type”. It creates a pulsing sense of urgency to bond, get emotionally naked and reveal all secrets. This sense of compulsion creates a lot of fear or even guilt in both people. They may ask themselves why do they feel so bewitched with this person? What is it about them that makes it is so important to connect?

Some people experience a sense of repulsion with the other person. They fear their own need to get close to them and they even blame their partner for trying to manipulate them. They might turn to various manipulations in the form of trying to shape and control the relationship dynamic. They want the other person and they would never give up but they deal with their fear by being the one in control of the emotional well-being of the other person (usually the Moon). It is very Moon for the Pluto person to act like a therapist or psychologist so that they can catalog the emotional reactions of the Moon person.

The Moon person when Pluto crosses the line

They do so to ‘help’ the Moon person open up and feel safe. They want Moon to open up so they can feed on the rich emotional nature and sensitivity of their display. It makes Pluto feel powerful and in charge of this kingdom that is the heart of the Moon person. They genuinely revel and enjoy the Moon person’s weakness and displays of instinctive reactions. The Moon person feels very validated that the Pluto person is not running away when seeing them like that. They feel they can be messy, sad, hurt and as dark as can be and still the Pluto person would love them. The problem is that the Pluto person is not always aware that what they really want is to experience their own repressed nature through the Moon person. They may miscalculate their own obsessions and needs when playing this game. For example, they might act cold in order to make the Moon person show how much they need them. By the time the Moon person surrenders and admits they can’t live without the they have repressed their own yearning for them so much that they might lash out in an almost aggressive manner. They would become possessive and fearful and in actuality the Moon person would have the upper hand in this situation. Why? Because they are connected to their truth and emotions and can admit what they need. The Pluto person would intuitively sense this fact and become even more obsessed with finding ways to predict and catalog the emotional reactions of their partner.

If Venus is involved in the Synastry they might do so through kind gestures and nurturing ways. For example, they would want to know what their partner’s favorite food or gift is and use that knowledge when they feel the Moon person is shifting away from the bond. They would show the Moon person with all sorts of actions but would never reveal their own compulsive need to also receive affection and nurturing. It is almost like the Pluto person is living their emotions through the Moon person. This creates a very co-dependent dynamic because both people can’t really fully experience who they are without the other person. The Moon person lost their guard and “skin” to the point where they are very unsafe if the Pluto person stops being their shield. The Pluto person acts like a protective barrier against any outside influence on the Moon person. They can very genuinely keep them safe from harm but this safety means the Moon person must stay in the imaginary fort that Pluto created for them.

The Moon should ask themselves whether this fort is a golden cage, a prison or home? It is usually all three.

The healthier the relationship the more honest Pluto can be about how attached they are to the Moon. The less honest they are with themselves about why they provoke or protect the Moon the more likely this relationship would turn into a cage where they both feel exposed, weak and unfulfilled. Yet, they would always care and love one another because no other person has ever touched them so deeply and exposed them to something they didn’t think was possible in our world that can be called real intimacy. Intimacy not based on anything superficial but on real sharing of two souls. They might recognize the relationship is unhealthy and move on but with a sense of gratitude for the experience. It is also possible they would stay but both would have to transform and be very raw with each other about their fears and their need to feel safe. If they are ready to work together they would become conjoined into an entity that is hard to destruct. The bond would be unbreakable and fiercely loyal.

Pluto opposite Venus in Synastry: Beauty and the Beast

This aspect in Synastry tends to bind people together with an interesting effect. Because it is an opposition, it can often swing between different extremes; between enlightened love (Venus) and fear of vulnerability (Pluto). The emotional roller-coaster tends to bind the couple together because “we have been through so much and we are still here.” This is a typical syndrome for better and for worse.

This is a couple that together can learn a lot about being vulnerable and looking their biggest fears in the face. The Venus person learns that their love is valuable and can heal the pain and fear of the Pluto person. The Pluto person learns that love is not a weakness and over time becomes more protective, gentle and caring towards the Venus person. It is also true that the Venus person can act more Plutonian over time because they learn that the Pluto partner does not always respect “softness”. The real key lesson here for Venus is not to fall prey to this scenario and still stand by their values. If Venus allows the Pluto person to dominate them in the relationship, they will in effect only escalate the bad behavior of Pluto. Venus must stand strong in its conviction that is it lovable and beautiful no matter what.

Pluto who is secretly very deeply attracted and magnetized by this promise of true love will learn to open up and let go of controlling behaviors. Of course, a lot depends on the state of these planets in the natal charts of the individuals. Nevertheless, even in relationships that don’t last long, both partners transform on a deep level and learn a lot about what love means to them.

I should also add that these relationships tend to be very compulsive in the early stages. The couple knows that something unique and deep is at play but they can’t articulate it. They might feel that there is a potential for something powerful. Venus can feel that a great deal of protection, devotion and care is possible, while Pluto might feel that finally they can share their dark side with someone who won’t run away. This is also one of those aspects that like wine gets better with time. So if you are struggling I would suggest both partners take a step back and ask themselves what they value in the other person. Sometimes the intensity of this connection can be too overwhelming so being able to take time apart is important.

People with natal Pluto aspects would find it more familiar (not easier) to deal with this opposition. The Pluto person is going to struggle with their worst nature coming into play, even if normally they are the sweetest person around. Venus knows how to push the buttons of Pluto too! The magical charm of Venus is often very self-indulgent and not always willing to go into the deep dark waters of Pluto. Pluto mostly struggles with a lot of old baggage and fears that don’t relate to the actual relationship.

At the end of the day, this aspect requires a lot of self-honesty so that both partners don’t misuse the power they hold over each other. The reward is a truly intimate relationship that is strong like an armor. A couple that manages this aspect in a constructive way can withstand struggles and anything thrown at them and still stay together. I would note, that it is important that this couple doesn’t only stay together because of the difficulties they survived or the amazing sexual connection. The Synastry chart must have some additional aspects that allow space for fun, play and softness. We are all vulnerable and sometimes it is alright to not go into our pain and take a break. My last suggestion is that the couple openly talk about their fears so they don’t simmer under the surface and erupt into struggles later. Overall, this aspect is very passionate, intimate and healing.