Tag Archives: relationships

Venus in Capricorn Revisited

A while ago I made a post about his Venus claiming it had bad taste. I do not take the fun out of that observation but clearly this does no justice to this placement or to understanding it.

I kept thinking back to this Venus in Capricorn, to the steady energy of people with this natal Venus. The way I like to consider Venus, is its relation to values and beauty in our lives. It is very much about how we express our love and joy to the world and what we consider worthy of our attention.

If you have Venus in Capricorn it means you have a highly developed love nature. That is because love for you is something to be earned. You were probably one of these kids who had to do something to receive affection- you had to perform in some way. In other words- love was hard work, not an easy flow you could just enjoy. As a result, as a grown up you have very high standards for what you need to do before you open yourself to love. This is also true about what you expect from others- they must go through gradual stages of effort to win your heart.

The key word is gradual, persistent and stable effort.  You can’t fully give or take warm sensuality, love or even friendship without these little efforts to lead you there.

You are very good at building a long-lasting relationship, and most of your connections are long lasting. At the same time you are just as good avoiding any connections if they are deemed unworthy to you.  If you feel the other person is not going to put in any effort or comply to the gradual steps in the relationship- you simply walk away, unattached. This might seem a bit cold to the outside perspective, but really it is your way to create love in life. You know you can’t have it any other way, and truthfully why should you?

The problem is, that at times it might be too easy to fall into a pattern of avoidance, of being single or staying a polite distance from others. Especially when young, Venus in Capricorn can avoid dating or serious relationships altogether. This is ironic considering they only want that type of relationship. They do have an inner ideal of a traditional, marriage or at the very least a long lasting partnership that is conventional enough. Take Miley Cyrus as an example- on and off again with one serious boyfriend she is now engaged to. After all the wild years she really wants that traditional marriage. This is true to Venus in Capricorn in that no matter how freedom loving the rest of the chart might seem- at some point they will simply want to settle down.

For you love is not a flashy thing, it is not made of huge promises or lavish luxuries. It is made out of small efforts, commitments and most importantly growth. Every relationship you have is about gradually getting better, stronger and more refined. You need to know that love is about climbing up somewhere towards a goal. This goal can be anything you decide but you must see it is moving to a higher point over time. If a relationship is good but it stays the same for years? You will feel you have failed somehow. This is unfortunate, as you might become cold towards a perfectly great partner. It is better you speak the goal out loud and find ways to work towards it together. Usually, it can be something small but it still means a lot to you.

Other than that, you are a warm lover who likes to take care of another person. You enjoy knowing you can put in efforts (work) to take your partner to their highest point. You are fine with being asked to do about anything- you will not shy away from any challenge. Unless, this is something you consider being a down grade.

For example, if the person you love asks for something you think is ugly, unworthy or simply will make them appear “lower” in some way. One man with Venus in Capricorn I knew, would  buy his girlfriend beautiful clothes, jewelry and perfume but when she asked for a pair of ripped jeans she liked- he would not but them- for him she will be downgrading her looks and he would not be party to that. This is of course one example, and his can play out on emotional levels. If she had a Venus in Capricorn she might simply avoid showing angry emotions in the relationship- instead choosing to walk out of the room. Again, this is really about keeping things classy.

Venus in Capricorn, is very particular about social norms, behaviors and appearances. Again we can go back to how they won over the adults in their lives- who gave them love when they acted polite, respectful or even like “little adults”. Parents to Venus in Capricorn should be aware of this and give their smart child some leeway to be wild, messy and silly.

Sexually speaking, Venus in Capricorn are very sensual (earth sign) they are not aggressive and they are very careful about what they do until they are sure if you like it. A lover who lets them go wild a bit is what they need- they need to lose control once in a while and to show their affection in a free fashion.

Now the pitfalls for you are many. To start with, you can as I said before become too focused on things you want and avoid deep relationships. You can also end up with someone who will manipulate you to work for them. I have many examples of this Venus being abused and staying for years- putting in more efforts the more the relationships fails. So you should avoid both extremes, of too much or too little.

A good partner for you is someone who enjoys being nurtured, who will make all the secret gentleness come out from under your controlled self. Who will make you want to touch and hug them, feed them and take care of their needs. This is someone who is not aggressive, who is sensitive and has sweetness about them, someone who enjoys and appreciates the small daily efforts and the larger vision of the relationship. Who has a good vision into the future and who doesn’t want huge romantic gestures taken from a movie set. You also need a partner with a head on their shoulders, who can think in a rational manner, avoid becoming too emotional and not irrupt into intense emotions.

This is basically someone with qualities that are a crossover of Cancer and Aquarius. So if you meet someone is both in need of what you can give but also not too dependent on you- you found a match.

Now, a bit on the gender differences of this Venus: If you are a Woman with Venus in Capricorn you give love the way this post describes. You put in effort, you act classy, and you take time with building the relationship to fit what you want. You are elegant and you don’t erupt with intense emotions. You know how to walk away with grace- unless you have worked so hard you will never walk away no matter how bad it gets.

If you are a man with Venus in Capricorn, you want an elegant, small boned partner who is hard working but also wise beyond their years. Who will take a more traditional role in in the relationship. You may not admit to it but you do want her to be a bit “crazy” on an emotional level and you do enjoy a sensitive partner who will allow you open up. You want a family, children and a nice house. And you want the house (metaphorical house) to get bigger every year.

Some other key points for this Venus:

Love has no price. You are worthy of love just as you are. You don’t need to way for what you want. It is okay not to have to ask for what you need. If someone doesn’t enjoy what you give- they never will and no amount of sweat is going to change that.

Date for every sign

So…Today a quick fun holidays post about the best date for every sign, of course if you know anything about Astrology our Sun sign is a small and fraction of who we are.  That being said our Sun is our ego, our self-esteem, our confidence- all things that make us happy.

Feel free to find a date that works for the chart of the person (if you know it).  For example, the perfect date for my Leo friend would fit in Gemini as she has both Moon and Venus in that sign. I wrote this with a first or second date in mind, this is not about what a sign needs in a relationship but about the general style of how they like things to play out in terms of activity. Also, this is not an in-depth or very accurate description of a sign. Why? Because a Leo Venus is not a Leo Moon, instead look at it as personality types and how to date them. Hope I made that clear and we can proceed to how fun it is to date all these different types.

What is your favorite date and what is your sign?

Date for Aries

A good date for this strong personality ruled by Mars would involve a little action. Aries enjoy anything that is new, exciting, physical and playful. Many appreciate having an adrenaline spike. So get them an experience! They also don’t like doing things alone so you can get into the fun with them.  Anything involves wheels and fun rides will be success. They can also enjoy games (paintball anyone?) As long as you let them win.  Bottom line: if it allows them to get out there and not be bored, feel competitive but also on the receiving end of warm attention- it’s a good idea.

Date for Taurus

Taurus is easy to please. Anything that is pleasant to the senses is going to make them feel loved.  Treat them to an experience that is relaxed and doesn’t involve a lot of stressful choices. They need to feel they can enjoy all that is around them- the atmosphere, the food and the music.  Taurus would also enjoy live music, theater, an art exhibition or anything beautiful. The trick is to let them soak in what you are doing together. No words needed but touch is. Bottom line: No need for expensive over the top dates, just make sure it is comfortable and smells nice where you are going. Oh and pleas pleas keep it classy.

Date for Gemini

This one can get a bit tricky; it depends greatly on your ability to read their bored face, as long as the Gemini isn’t bored? It’s going well.  A date with no complications that seems to go smoothly is what they want.  It doesn’t matter what you do as long as the conversation is flowing. That being said, many Gemini’s enjoy playing games or solving puzzles. They also like a date that isn’t too planned out. So you should plan it but make it look as if they are in a movie and stuff is just going on. Move from one place to the next, take a little trip somewhere and change direction. Gemini would appreciate a stand up show, a game of poker or a poetry night.

Date for Cancer

Cancer needs to feel they can trust you before they open up. A date that involves getting to know your soft side is going to be best.  Romantic gestures that show that you care are appreciated.  At the same time, don’t go in too strong so an activity that allows that safe space is best. Cancer can also be nostalgic and like doing something that they enjoyed growing up.  The classic movie date is not a bad idea. They can also enjoy doing something domestic like cooking together. Many enjoy following a romantic script. So the whole looking at the stars and holding hands drill. Some might also appreciate a little drama so take them to the theater or a dance show to get their emotions out. Bottom line: Keep it sweet but with a touch of dramatic flair.

Date for Leo

Leo does like the over the top romantic gestures.  They appreciate knowing they can shine in the situation.  So avoid anything that is not going to allow them to show their best: best dress, best talent or just best mood. It is not really all that complicated.  They would prefer dates to be outside the home- somewhere public. You need to show you put effort and made it not just about you.  Like the Aries they can enjoy a little bit of action and outdoor stuff- but in a glamorous setting involving heels or ties.  Bottom line: show them off in the best spot in town, and gifts are a sign of respect.  Parties, carnivals, the opera and your friend’s house, are generally reasonable ideas. Oh and keep it full of joy, no complaining.

Date for Virgo

My goodness, this one is both super simple and hard. It is about showing you have something to offer- that they want.  It doesn’t matter so much what you do as long as you’re honest and polite. Many Virgo types can enjoy a walk, a bit of nature and conversation. Yes like the Gemini date they would need to be interested in that. At first make it a coffee, don’t make it long and don’t brag.  Go somewhere that is clean and relaxed, no chaos. Virgo can also really appreciate a good sense of humor. Bottom line: simple, clean and intelligent activities.  Coffee it is.

Date for Libra

Libra would enjoy the classic date with a twist. So start with classic: a good restaurant, a show and add an element of edginess to it.  Libra  doesn’t like to be making choices during the date- so pick something for them. At the same time they are super sharp and would appreciate high culture, so nothing vulgar, ugly or aggressive pleas. If the classic pretty part goes well you can venture into something different. Like alternative music, poetry, art or maybe UFO hunting. They are amazing like that. Bottom line: not home, not nature but yes to culture of any type.

Date for Scorpio

Scorpio wants to destroy the classic date- they want to strip you down to your true intentions. The Virgo wants an honest date- Scorpio wants a date they can figure out to be honest. See the difference? Scorpio wants their emotions to awaken. If you go for a movie or a play make it something powerful and intense. They will not appreciate you trying to figure them out but will melt complexly if you lay your heart bare. Anyway, Scorpio wants an experience of emotional intimacy. How to achieve that? I don’t know, maybe save their life? Or at least show you would.

Date for Saggiterius

Saggiterius like to feel free, a date outdoors or taking a little trip is fun for them.  Unlike the Libra their idea of nature isn’t a Japanese park but a forest with animals. They also love foreign cultures so exotic foods or getting to know a culture is exciting to them.  They don’t care how highbrow a date is- they want it real and free.  So nothing that forces you into a suite or dress pleas. They could appreciate anything that allows them to learn- lectures, classes and seminars. They also enjoy sports quite a bit and comedy. Bottom line: If it speaks a new language, quakes like a duck or sounds like Jim Carrey. Go for it.

Date for Capricorn

Capricorn likes the vintage feel. They want real high quality but without glamorous or overly romantic gestures. So they don’t want you confessing your feelings but they do want you to show respect. A romantic gesture is mistrusted but simple warm actions are valued. So if you just take your coat off for them or ask them about their day they will see it as a good sign. They really enjoy classic anything. Also keep boundaries of respect and politeness at all costs. Other than that they are very down to earth and don’t need an actual “activity” for the date. Make sure to not talk too much and follow their smart little anecdotes.

Date for Aquarius

Aquarius likes a date that doesn’t say it’s a date. Keep it friendly and easy going and let them decide if they want it to be a date.  They do like to feel free and will not tolerate actions that limit that. That means that unlike the Libra they need to be making the choices for where you go. At the same time you need to be strong enough to say what you want and offer that as an option. So…Do what you like to do but make sure to incorporate their idea of fun into it. Many Aquarius types love alternative gatherings and venues that allow diversity and free spirted behavior. They would go to most things “indie” if you offer.

Date for Pisces

Well, a date that transports them beyond the mundane world is good. Maybe a date that is a bit like fate, a movie scene or dream. At least it should feel like it matters, it is about breaking boundaries. Not like the Aquarius that wants to feel they rule they world but like boundaries between people are broken. Many start relationships after an intimate conversation or doing something kind for you. I think that date happens a long time after the actual romantic connection has happened.  What made the connection? Only they know, probably something small that made them feel bound. Anyway, Pisces like dates where you both can make small sweet and caring gestures for each other. They enjoy spending time alone with you in a dreamscape.

 

Saturn: The Dark Superhero

Up to this point, I avoided writing about Saturn. It wasn’t a thought out decision perhaps- but if was something I felt more comfortable with. Saturn is a very tricky planet to write about- not so much because it deals with the most difficult lessons in our life, but because it isn’t easy to pin down.  The reason for this is that fear in general, is not something we understand until we overcome it.  It is a basic accepted “fact” (starting with Freud) that until we know the reason for our fear we won’t be able to get rid of it. Saturn is also the grown up in out chart- it is the responsible adult that tells us we must work hard, play less and maybe then we might turn out good people.

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A strong Saturn is one that can indeed teach as much about life  even if he is not the one that makes things easy for us.  it usually isn’t  a pleasant experience,  when someone shows me their chart I make sure to study their Saturn first so I can understand where their pain and difficulty arises from. Saturn is ruled by both Aquarius and Capricorn- two signs that work hard to build institutions on this earth, erect governments and punish the criminals.

Saturn is a bit of a superhero really! A dark hero though he may be. He saves us from making the same mistakes again and again – like a wise elder that reminds us that fire is hot and we shouldn’t stick our little hands where they don’t belong.

Saturn isn’t mean- He is just knows so much he has not time for small talk and smiles. We usually feel our Saturn in our childhood- all the things we never chose, like our parents and teachers.  We may also feel Saturn in our relationship with society- when we feel alone in a room full of people- this is our hero in black, teaching us to be our own person. When we feel we don’t deserve love and that things are too hard to deal with- it’s him again.

Think about it: every person on this earth is born with some inner and outer restrictions that serve a purpose. It isn’t always obvious- for example a child born to a very rich family may face his restrictions as a result of that privilege. A small girl born with Saturn in the 6th house- will have to work like a grown up- becoming a child star.

Saturn also rules “time”- how so? As it rules things that last: long-term relationships as well as actual social constructs. It is very traditional at heart- not a liberal hero. It wants to use the past so it can build on top of it. This includes your past memories and things which serve as a base for who you are.  Things that last require work and commitment, like a marriage for example- if both parties are not ready to commit and are able to do things which they find hard- the marriage isn’t going to work.  Any long-term commitment requires sacrifice of the ego- making place for another person in your life. Isn’t that a good thing? Of course it is- if you understand that the commitment will lead to a real strong relationship. If you don’t understand that, then indeed Saturn may seem like an evil doer. The trick is to always see the goal ahead- not the path. Saturn wants you to know that you are going somewhere, building, creating and growing. Marriage is a great example for how Saturn works:

Marriage is a great example for how Saturn works: Two people meet and are attracted to each other. They have fun going on dates and having romantic moments and adventures together.  That time in the relationship is almost perfect- both think that the other person is perfect and more than that- perfect for them. They say they are in love and they feel it too. Then one day something happens- maybe one of them does something that hurts or bothers the other person and maybe they even fight, or maybe one of them loses their jobs or becomes ill- the Saturn domain. In happens in any relationship but chances are they both think it means something about that one specific relationship- the one that stops being all fun and games. It can be a painful discovery- suddenly your love is not the perfect person you thought. Instead, they are weak, flawed- they are human!   Suddenly the relationship isn’t perfect- you have to find a job, deal with the illness. Saturn at this point is your best compass- it will show you how to deal best with all the hard times and how to build a new and stronger foundation. If you manage the good times will return- they will not be perfect but they will be real and meaningful- they will be real love. A commitment and understanding- a marriage of souls.  Saturn is a very unromantic planet- but a romantic at heart for he can lead you to actually realize your dreams in the real world.

If you manage do learn Saturn’s moves in battle then the good times will return, they will not be perfect, but they will be real and meaningful- they will be real love. Saturn is a very unromantic planet- but a romantic at heart for he can lead you to actually realize your dreams in the real world.

He does protect you more than you know- from becoming less than you should be.

So face your fears- knowing they are just the path not the goal and that the end of your journey is beautiful. You will stand taller and stronger having overcome Saturn and having built something lasting.